I cant consolidate my thoughts and I am not good with words. Im thinking again, all of it returning back to me piece by piece and with every corner i turn, something jostles my memory. Feelings I cant describe, thoughts I cant understand. I'm still fighting to answer my own questions, trying to convince myself that I am right. Did I make the right choices? Did I ask for it? Was it me or was it the situation? Is it me or is it you? Am I the problem?
I feared for it to happen and expected it to happen but maybe i expected the expected and didn't think bout the unexpected. You said it, I believed it. You convinced me and then dissuaded me. Whats right and whats wrong? Sometimes I don't understand why. You took my hand, showed me the good side of the world. Then one day, maybe you made a mistake and chose to leave me alone wondering what to do and you even chose not to say goodbye. But I still feel only positive feelings which hurts more than you'll ever know now.
You've got a spell over me, haven't you?