:) QUEEN* ; NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE,I SHALL LIVE MY LIFE WITH SANGUINITY

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I wonder why things don’t seem to be working out right. I’m doing relief teaching but most of the time, I am stuck in the office doing admin jobs that I absolutely detest. Ironic. The interview at some school went pretty ok but they still haven’t called. So I don’t know if I should go ahead and accept tuition offers or wait for them to call because really, I would rather teach at the school.

I’m getting demoralized whenever I open my emails and I don’t seem to see any important mails except some junk notifications.

It doesn’t help when you go to school early in the morning and you face a computer that runs so slowly and it usually hangs faster than it responds to your clicks. On the brighter side, at least I get to surf the net. I miss Daniel Choo.

Being in the school, I have seen my fair share of teachers who love to teach and teachers who teach for a living. The difference can really be seen in the kids. I believe that a teacher play an important part of our lives. There might be once when you were a child, and you felt lost. Wasn’t it the teacher who would guide you and you would feel that things aren’t that bad after all?

It’s not easy to be a teacher. But when you know you have taught your students well, the sense of satisfaction that you get is more than satisfactory and it will be that that will keep you going on and on.. And that’s one of the reasons why I want to teach.

7:26 PM

Friday, August 7, 2009

I enjoy the company of my friends and will miss them when they move to the other side of the world.. Life's just like that. We can't have one person who will go through every phase of life with you. Maybe your parents would. But friends, no matter how close, would have different ambitions, aspirations and dreams. And soon, you might find yourself taking a different path from the rest, alone and uncertain. I'll miss hanging out often in the East with my friends and I certainly do hope that we will keep in contact.

While I find my dreams amidst the chaos and recession that seems like a tide that is there but not really there, I am glad that my friends are happy and walking nearer towards finding out what they really want. All I know is that life is never a bed of roses. The grass will always be greener on the other side. But the more things that you realise you dislike, the closer you are to finding your dreams and what you like. Audrey always say that it is very seldom that people get to do what they like and they just have to learn to love what they do which I find is quite true. Because, you can never have the best of both worlds.

Shopping at Ikea and Popular for Audrey and Effie's dorm is really fun. I can feel the excitement and am excited for them too! I know Effie is excited to move in! I miss being a student. Wonder what kind of life would it be like for them for the days ahead. Haha. Can't wait to hear juicy gossips from them about each other's uncle agonies and the notes they will leave for each other when they are not in the dorm. Sounds really fun! And this sat, it's so exciting to help them move into their dorm. These 2 people can be really crazy when they want to be!

Having said all that, I am sad to say that there are some friends that you will never want to talk about again and if you could take an eraser to erase the memories you had of them, you would just do it. Because when you find out how disgusting they can be and how shallow they are, you'll find yourself doing anything to rid off all the memories, pleasant or unpleasant. They are like pests in front of a person with a insecticide ready to spray anytime. Any sentence said, any incident mentioned, they should just be erased.

When I see them on the streets, they will be a stranger I don't want to know. And if they come near me, I will take an eraser to erase them and draw them all over again so that the memories of them would be more pleasant. So if the guy likes to sweet talk, I will erase off his mouth and draw a mouth that is shut on him so that it can't be opened. (:

1:14 AM

Thursday, August 6, 2009

So last last night, Lihyee told me she bought a new bike and we should go cycling on the streets in the night! Hahaha. But in the end, there were lightsticks on the floor in the park! Thank you Audrey, Effie and Lihyee for the birthday surprise! The lightsticks are really nice though I couldn't really read the words from my window! But I'm really glad! It looked beautiful on the ground too! Thank you for taking the time to come down and taking the effort to arrange the words! Your presence is appreciated too! It's a really nice birthday gift!

Normally, I'll get a phone call at midnight. But this time, my phone didn't ring because sexy farmer sim is all the way in Aussie! But she did call me much later when it was close to one! Hahaha. Thank you sexy farmer sim for remembering to call me! I miss hanging out with you! Hope you're doing fine in the cold blue Aussie.

And thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! I thank God for friends! (:

And the best birthday gift will be touring Europe with you and taking pictures on the carousel. Hahahaha. When the sun shines or when the stars hang in the sky? The return of my long lost legend. (:

12:44 AM

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sometimes, lies can be so real, its so hard not to believe. Eleven months ago, something really unpleasant and unexpected happened. When an explanation was demanded, I was left with reasons that were unreal and reasonings that were now proven as excuses. Along the way, besides picking up the pieces, stories were told by so many. Till today, I have no idea if it's the truth or a story made up by not so creative minds.

Was he really a bad guy or were the both of them the same kind? Maybe that's why they could be such good friends. I don't understand why some people can take matters related to relationships so lightly. It just proves how much there really is in their brains. To me, being with someone is one matter and being in love is another altogether. You can be together with someone but if there was no love, there would be no us.

A year after everything happens, so much is revealed and the story unfolds. I have done what I ought to do but I think you will never learn. Your attitude towards love and your selfishness just proves that you have never learnt to love. You are so competitive, you are just trying to prove yourself all the time instead of enjoying something that's so magical. I can only wish you all the best and I really wish you weren't that shallow. But sometimes, a wish can only be a wish.

At that time, if only I was closer to someone who gives good opinions than someone who is expressionless.. It might have changed the way things turned out today. But what's past is past and no amount of regret can bring you back to undo it. I made the choice so there is nothing to regret. This mistake just taught me to open my eyes and remember that things can be different from the surface compared to the inside.

I always thought that good friends will stand by each other no matter what. And instead of competing with one another, they will know that unity is strength. But sadly, there are some that don't understand the meaning of friendship. If he told me you didn't care, I believed him because he was your good friend. But if you never said that, I would never know because we don't talk anymore. So maybe it doesn't matter and this thing is not entirely my fault.

12:29 AM